Thursday, January 26, 2006

You Like Me, You Really ....Well, At Least You're Aware of Me

You can't imagine how wonderful it was to check in here after my last post and find that I had commenters. Thanks to Jen and Tink, you guys really made my day. By the way, not only are you two my first commenters, you are also my first sucessful links. I tried to link to Jo earlier, but apparently I suck at the whole technology thing. I think I've got it now. Lord, this blogging idea is sweeeeet.

I've been an avid reader of some of the best infertility/pregnancy/adoption/parenting blogs on the web for a couple of years now. By sharing these very private and often painful moments (with more grace and humor than a ballerina on acid, I might add) in the most public of forums, these ladies and gents have given so many of us hope, strength, encouragement, enlightenment and the ability to laugh at some of the more absurd absurdities that can go into creating a family. I can speak only for myself, but I am eternally greatful.

However, I would hazard a guess that most, if not all of them, began blogging without this lofty goal in mind. Several (and I cannot point to specifics, but I've read it often) have mentioned that blogging started out as a therapy of sorts. A way to untangle some of the twisted strings of life that were clogging up their minds. A way to deal with life's frustrations, unfairness, painfullness, and tragedy. A way to clarify and heal, if only for themselves. This, I thought, was a wonderful idea for a myriad of reasons: I have always enjoyed writing and I'd been away from it for far too long; we were in the middle of a very long paperchase, and I needed a safe place to bitch, and whine, and moan and figure things out; it's much cheaper than traditional therapy and I don't have to include it in my dossier.

I didn't start out writing this for anyone else, but of course, putting it on the internet means taking a chance that others will read what I am writing. If someone should stumble upon my little corner of the world wide web, I hope they can take something, anything, useful away with them. I hope what I am writing will benefit them in some little way. I have gained so much from the other bloggers, it feels a little selfish to not at least be willing to offer something in return.

But like I said, I didn't start this blog with other readers in mind. Even if I had aspired to be the Most Widely Read Blogger Ever, I had serious doubts that anyone would find me anyway (I read a lot, but don't comment very often). So, imagine my surprise when the visit counter started climbing on it's own. It took me a few days to realize I could only account for 12 of those first 17 visits myself. It was a little thrilling and a little scary to realize someone else was watching. (Sort of like doing the deed when there is a possibility of being caught. Cough. Not that I would know anything about that. But I've heard it can be fun.) And then, the great day arrived. My first comments. They gave me warm fuzzies. I've discovered I like being heard. I'm still writing for myself and my sanity, but its nice to not alone out here. So if you're out there, and I know you are, speak up. And Welcome.


atomic mama said...

Congratulations on the DTC-thang! We are *almost* paperchasing. And nice job with the blog. Against my better judgement I just started, too. What have I done?!

Stephanie V said...

Yes, congratulations on being DTC, it's a huge step.

And you're right, blogging for many of us started as a way to untangle the hell of infertility and subsequent adoption anxiety. But most importantly, at least for me, was to connect to other's who "understand" because in both cases, unless you've been in it, you just don't get it.

Kim M said...

I had to laugh when I read this. I keep wondering if anyone has read my blog. No comments yet. I like your blog. I'm DTC 1/23/06. Kim M.