Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Funky Town

I've moved in, set up housekeeping, and I think I'm about to be elected mayor.

As you may have guessed, I am apparently the world's worst blogger. It's been over a month now, and I don't even have a decent excuse. I'm in a big funk right now, and just can't make myself do much of anything except watch Amazing Race re-runs. Funny, but not very productive.

There's the wait, and a bunch of other stuff as well. The wait for referrals from China, as you probably know, now threatens to go on for at least another year. It just doesn't seem possible that this adoption is ever going to happen. I know everyone says it will, but I can't help but think that the longer we have to wait, the better the chances that something will go wrong and everything will fall apart. Cheery, aren't I?

One of the little things weighing on me is the high probability that I will be out of town for a trial for pretty much all of January. In Tulsa. No offense to any of you in Tulsa (especially considering today's news about my fair city. It's bullshit, but it's out there.), but I can think of things I'd rather be doing and places I'd rather be doing them. Mostly, I'm nervous about the trial and being away from home for so long. I'm also pretty sure it's going to screw up my entire Christmas season since I'll be in crazy prep mode for most of December.

My lack of energy right now is also due to a round of bronchitis and a sinus infection for me (3 different antibiotics before they finally went away) and coccidia for both dogs. It's a disease mostly associated with puppies, so of course my 7 and 9 year old dogs came down with it. Why not? If you haven't dealt with this particular intestinal bug before, count yourself among the lucky. Despite what wikipedia says, it took close to a $1000 in emergency room visits, fluids, IV antibiotics and assorted medications to get them feeling pretty chipper again. I'm not sure how G. put up with the three of us.

More good news came our way when G.'s company decided to close up shop in this area with a whopping 3 days notice. Fuckers. We heard about from a friend who works for the competition before we heard about it from the company. He should have a really great position in a couple of months, but while we wait for that to come through he's working 2nd shift, which just throws our whole schedules out of whack. We don't see each other much unless I stay up way too late after he gets home. The new job can't come soon enough.

Also, I've been trying pretty hard to not deal with the first anniversary of my dad's death, which is most likely going to bitchslap me but good come this Friday. We are still dealing with getting the house squared away and how to get my mom settled. And I really, really miss him. And I still really, really hate that he and Annabelle will never know each other.

Now that I'm all whined out I feel obligated to point out the one thing I have managed to do today. Hear that? I figured out how to add music to this little corner of my world and found some of my very favorite songs. Allison Krauss is amazing isn't she? I Will is so sweet and gentle and exactly how I feel about Annabelle. The second song, Collin Raye's Love Remains, was played during the candle lighting ceremony of our wedding. We used this because we wanted to honor the love and loyalty of our families. I just loved the idea (and still do) that our family would be built, in part, because of the foundation of love that we had been given by our parents. And that one day, Annabelle's family would be built the same way. Love and hope being passed on through the generations like that still makes me all misty.

Well now. I seem to have rambled my way from funk to maudlin to complete marshmellowy sappiness. On that note (get it? note? I crack myself up sometimes), I really need to go to bed and get some rest to prepare for whatever emotion tomorrow should bring. I could really stand a little happy right now.